Off Topic
by PSQQA
Summary: My KHR dumping ground for fics that I feel are too short to be published on their own, named for the one that started it all. Number two: Celio is lost, but thankfully someone helps him find his way home.
1. Off Topic

Once upon a time my sister gave me a prompt ("Wrist watches and nailpolish") and two characters ("That guy who looks like Trent from Daria (Hibari) and that dude on the first page of chapter 17 (Gokudera)") and suggested those be what I write about. This is what came from that suggestion.

Disclaimer: Apparently even my stick figures do not look like stick figures, so obviously I can claim no ownership of KHR and its lovely characters.

Off Topic

"You're late."

Gokudera might have mellowed out a fair bit over the past ten years, but he remembered well enough what was happening at this moment nine years and ten months into the future to his nine year and ten month younger family (and found it somewhat disheartening that that sentence, despite its seemingly obvious fallacies, was entirely correct). So, when Hibari showed up on their old middle school's roof two minutes later than he had said he would, it was rather understandable that he received such a cold welcome (not that he usually received particularly _warm_ welcomes from Gokudera).

"My watch says I'm not," he replied coolly.

"That's _wrist_ watch."

"What?"

"That which is on your wrist and is telling you that you are not late - which, incidentally, you are - is correctly known as a wrist watch."

Somewhat caught off guard by this random twist in the conversation it took Hibari a moment to come up with: "But is more commonly referred to as simply a watch."

Gokudera, however, was on edge. And when Gokudera was on edge his mind dealt far better with things by being obsessively organized and precise while lecturing less obsessively organized and precise minds on where they were going wrong. Hence, rather than furthering the conversation to perhaps more relevant topics, he replied thusly:

"The word 'watch' can refer to a number of things. For example: I have been keeping _watch_ for your arrival, while _watching _over the baseball idiot and stupid cow so that I could _watch_ out for anything moronic they might do, like frighten away that _watch_ of nightingales – your younger self's doing I presume; you really like birds, don't you - over there, because that would lead you to harm us. I am now also contemplating my handmade Italian pocket _watch_ to see whether the third _watch_ of the night, assigned to me, is over yet and whether the prescribed drying time for the red nail polish recently applied to my left hand has passed yet.

"Given the amount of possibilities it is important to be as precise as possible with your language so as to avoid any possible complications that may arise from contextual confusion."

Hibari ruminated upon this shortly before replying: "Why was red nail polish recently applied to your left hand?"

Gokudera sighed. "You're missing the point."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Why were you late?"

"According to my watch I wasn't."

"_Wrist _watch."

"If you keep this up I am going to bite you to death."

Gokudera sighed again. "How many times have I told you that you have to amend that phrase? In this context _bite_ simply does not –"

Hibari was pleased when Gokudera seemed to deduce that finishing his sentence was not in his best interest, but was somewhat disappointed to have had to have helped him reach that conclusion by knocking him unconscious with his tonfa. Still, his mood was not too foul, mostly thanks to his recent battle and the _watch_ of nightingales serenading him from the far side of the roof. In fact, he even felt quite cheerful as he grabbed Gokudera's now limp arm and matched the time on his _pocket _watch to that of his own _wrist_ watch. He even made sure that the red nail polish on Gokudera's left hand had dried (he really would require the answer to that mystery when Gokudera woke up) before prying the _pocket_ watch from his hands. After all, if his _wrist_ watch was correct (and he knew for a fact that it was), Gokudera's younger self had just saved _his _younger self from a particularly nasty death nine years and ten months into the future. It was the least he could do.


	2. A Helping Hand With Candy in It

Not much to say about this one. Um, there's an OC? But he's six, so he's harmless. Also, this is set _way_ in the future. I'll leave the number of decades to your imagination.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine. At all.

A Helping Hand (With Candy in It)

Celio can smell pasta in the air and knows that it is time for dinner. The sun is setting and his _mamma _will scold him if he comes home much later than this. He gives the soccer ball one last kick before waving goodbye to his friends and running off in the direction of his home. Or at least, what he thinks is the direction of his home. Five minutes and a myriad of corners and alleys later he realizes that he has absolutely no idea where he is.

Immediately panic sets in and his small, six-year-old body stars trembling uncontrollably. He looks around wildly, running back and forth, searching for anything familiar, anything at all that will let him know he is not lost forever.

He is about to let loose a desperate cry of: "_Mamma_!" when a man crouches down in front of him and holds out a hand. Celio looks down and sees a brightly wrapped sweet resting in the palm of the man's hand. He looks back up at the man's gently smiling face and sniffles.

The man lazily shuts one eye and waits patiently for Celio to take the candy from his hand, then he says: "What is your name, _bambino_?"

"Celio, _signor_," he replies, wide-eyed.

The man smiles widely at that. "Celio, eh? Then tell me, Celio, why you are crying."

Celio begins to lose his composure again as he recalls his plight. At length, between sniffles and hiccoughs, he manages to tell the man of the smell of pasta, the imminent scolding from his mother, the unfamiliar houses and his fear of never finding his home and family again.

The man, who has been patiently silent throughout Celio's entire explanation, does not now, as Celio fears and expects, run off, leaving Celio behind to somehow find a way out of this hopeless situation. Instead he continues to smile reassuringly and says: "Come with me, Celio. I'm sure that together we'll be able to find your home."

Celio gapes at the man. "How can you know that, _signor_?"

The man ruffles Celio's hair and looks exaggeratedly pensive for a second. Celio giggles despite himself.

"Your name," the man says, "Celio, comes from Latin, doesn't it?"

Celio nods, "_Mamma_ says that it means 'heaven.'"

The man looks him earnestly in the eye and says: "A long time ago I swore to the sky that I would give my life to its protection and happiness." He grins at Celio again. "So I'm fairly certain that means you fall under my supervision." The man stands up then and holds out his hand to Celio. "Now tell me, Celio, what is the name of the street your house is on?"

Finally convinced that everything will be all right, Celio takes the man's hand and stares briefly at the large ring resting on his index finger, before answering his question.

He is not surprised when they find his house a short while later. Even at six, Celio knows that the ring marks the man as a man of his word. He sees his mother and lets go of the man's hand, running to embrace her.

She looks anxious, but that fades to relief once she hears him call out to her. She scoops him up into her arms, holding him tightly to her chest while scolding him for scaring her so much.

He begins to tell her of the man with the candy and then remembers that he abandoned him the moment he saw his mother. He turns around and finds the man standing at the gate, right where he left him. His mother looks up too and a look of surprise crosses her face.

Celio grabs her hand and drags her towards the man.

"_Signor! Signor!_" he calls, "This is my _mamma_."

The man inclines his head slightly and greets her: "_Signora._"

His mother still looks faintly surprised, but replies: "_Signor_." She hesitates a moment before adding: "Thank you for helping my son."

The man's one eye is still closed and he is about to reply when two men come around the corner and call out to him with words Celio cannot understand. The man responds with similarly unfamiliar words and then turns back to Celio and his mother.

"I'm very sorry, but I must go now," he winks at Celio, "my _famiglia_ is not as patient as yours when it comes to dinner."

"Is your _mamma_ waiting for you too?" Celio asks, and from the corner of his eye he can see his mother shoot him a look.

The man laughs then, and ruffles Celio's hair. "Not my _mamma_, no," he says.

"The other Celio then?"

The man smiles lazily. "The other Celio," he agrees, then turns, giving them a small wave as he does so and the dying sunlight catches on his ring.

Celio watches as the man joins the two waiting for him by the corner. He sees them usher him around the corner just as his mother starts to push him back towards the house. His right hand finds his mother's and in his left he still holds the candy he got from the man. He looks down at it and sees that it is grape flavored. He smiles and wonders whether grape is the man's favorite too.

* * *

I don't need to be more specific about who the Man is, right? Right?


End file.
